You know how it is, the times they are a changing, and taking old familiar comforts with them. Now, the tinfoil hat crowd has officially been relegated to the antique bin, next to the Poloroid cameras and 45rpm records.
For members of and visitors to New York City's New Museum of Contemporary Art, they can now purchase what might actually be the world's first "anti-drone scarf."
Absolutely perfect gift giving idea for those of you whose paranoia hasn't quite made it to the point where you have three and a half miles of string connecting that theory you have about the cancellation of Veronica Mars, and how it's totally tied to the trouble in Syria...
The $450 scarf ($382.50 for members) was designed from metalized silk to mask the wearer's thermal signature. That way, the pesky drones won't be able to drop a bomb on you when you are perusing the local farmer's market for a decent tomato. That's how you can tell this bullshit is contemporary art- it's overpriced as fuck and dubiously functional.
Of course, how will the drone differentiate between someone trying to mask their thermal signature and some pretentious asshole wearing a $400 tinfoil comforter? So many questions left...
Every time I visit my parents in Boca Raton I get a tennis lesson from my father. Basically the old guy schools me in the game. I used to beat him every time when I was in high school. That was before I had a wife, kids, and responsibility. Now, with the job I currently have it’s much easier to get out onto the links and play golf with clients than it is to get a good tennis match in.
Back when I was in high school I was a pretty avid player but I fell out of love for tennis through college. But when I did play my father back when I was younger he was easy to beat. But my father since moving and playing tennis in Boca Raton on a regular basis, has gotten better than me. Heck even my mother, my fifty plus year old mother gives me a run for my money.
My parents however, as I’ve recently learned have a dirty little secret. You see my parents have been taking very expensive tennis lessons from a very good former tennis pro. Boy did they have me set up too. They knew that I would have trouble getting down to Boca in the winter and spring so that’s when they took the secret lessons that I am just now finding out about. But when I showed up this summer with my racket on the court they taught me a lesson that I will not soon forget.
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Tito Ortiz: Dumbass in Motion
It's always kind of a neat experience when you can tell someone might have been hit in the head once or twice too many times.
This time around, the example would have to be former UFC Light-Heavyweight Champion and Hall of Famer Tito Ortiz. No, not for successfully throwing the hotdog down Jenna Jameson's hallway and getting twins in return, but for comparing his time in UFC with slavery.
Yes, the very same UFC that is the only way you would have ever heard of the Low Forehead from Huntington Beach. The very same UFC he made millions in fight payouts from. The very same UFC that let him fight out his contract, even though it's obvious whatever championship form he may have had is long, LONG the fuck gone. He's only won two of his last ten fights going back to 2006, and one of those wins was to Ken Shamrock three minutes past forever ago.
Despite a 1-7-1 tear since that fight with Shamrock, they decided putting this loudmouth into the Hall of Fame was a good idea. He has since taken his show to Bellator, a promotion that is sadly desperate enough to try and package Ortiz in a fight with another guy known more recently for bark than bite- "Rampage" Jackson. How desperate is Bellator? They've quasi-partnered with steadily sinking ship TNA Wrestling to keep these bums semi-relevant until their fight. You know, kind of like how you know an action flick is going to be a dog if Subway gets the tie-in (The Lone Ranger just being the latest example).
But to compare the majority of your career and subsequent fame to slavery? The only thing Tito Ortiz is a slave to is his own hype, and trust me, the lyrics to that spiritual are getting old quick, at least if you can find anyone who still bothers to sing along...
Don't get hung out to dry in Florida
If you are familiar with this website, you have no doubt seen the blog posts on people getting locked up for performing criminal acts and going about it in the dumbest manner possible. While Florida has a bit of a reputation for having perhaps more than their fair share of odd criminal stories, the fact the state is not playing around with criminals is no laughing matter if it's you across the aisle from the state in a courtroom.
Of course, the stupidity doesn't stop at the point of arrest. Forget trying to defend yourself. Get the notion out of your head. That kind of stunt only works if you are a lawyer, or if you are guest starring on a TV show. The prosecution already has their game plan in mind, so when it's time for a criminal lawyer, Jacksonville turns to Finnell, McGuinness, Nezami & Andux.
From your intial consultation to court if necessary, the lawyers of Finnell, McGuinness, Nezami & Andux, P.A. will use their skill, their combined experience of over 100 years, and their proven track record to try and obtain the best possible outcome for you. For criminal defense or other legal matters, contact them now for a confidential review of your case.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...I can't say I'm really moved one way or another about the Rex Ryan/Mark Sanchez 4th quarter playing time decision. Granted, it did look like a stupid decision then, it still looks like a stupid decision now, and will probably look like a stupid decision for the rest of time eternal, but I especially liked the way a Fark submitter handled the report that the Jets have signed a fifth quarterback, recently released Green Bay backup Graham Harrell: Former Saskatchewan Roughrider hits bottom, signs with the Jets.
Wow. Who would have thought signing a deal to become, in essence, the fifth-string quarterback for a team would have generated such buzz, not to mention a prime moment to take a stab at the currently woeful state of the New York Jets. Good luck, buddy. You and your four career pass attempts are gonna need it...
Then again, you could be this guy. Who the hell is it, you ask? Why, it is Jeff Tuel, the newly named Week One sacrifice by the Buffalo Bills to the AFC East kingpin New England Patriots.
If you wanted to be technical, here's another guy dealing with a five quarterback scheme coming into the final day of cuts to make up the 53-man roster. Not only does he have hit-and-mostly-miss Kevin Kolb as presumptive starter someday, he also has fellow rookie E.J. Manuel, Thad Lewis (1 TD/1 INT in 32 career attempts as a Cleveland Brown last season), and Matt Leinart, whom you'll probably remember more for getting frontloaded by Paris Hilton than for professional football.
As the great sports blog Kissing Suzy Kolber pointed out, this guy didn't even have a one-line Wikipedia page at the time he was named the starting quarterback (if for one day only) of the Buffalo Bills. Can't wait to see how much money is bet on this dog. My season opener is my Rams against division rivals Arizona. Any other year, we'd probably be making fun of this game, too...but now that the NFC West is the division in the NFL, we'll just have to call the Pats-Bills for what it is- one football team holding the other back with an outstretched arm while it flails away wildly. Good luck with your future career as a Trivial Pursuit answer, Mr. Tuel.
Finally, it still saddens me, the story about the legendary rock band KISS buying an arena football franchise to set up shop in Los Angeles. With a veritable smorgasbord of team names to play off the band's history and career, they instead went with, simply, the LA KISS.
This part of the article put me at a crossroads of sorts. On one hand, in spite of half of it, I am a member of the KISS Army. Seen them in concert, in and out of makeup, original lineup and otherwise. On the other hand...shouldn't the band's legal fleet have suggested a Lingerie Football (er...sorry, make that Legends Football League) team instead? That might have been a little more Gene's speed, and at least the goddamned name would have made sense.
This actually hurts me on levels as both a sports fan and as a music fan.
As a sign of solidarity for the people of L.A., I have renamed nine of my ten fantasy football teams to the Sharknados and have "relocated" them to Los Angeles, so the peoples there can have a franchise they can once again be proud to ignore for the most part. And yes, just to be fair, I am fielding a Los Angeles Sharknados of Anaheim.
Everybody wants to have a good time, but with states passing increasing harsher DUI penalties and lowering the limits for an offense, it can be easier than you think to get wrapped up in one of these cases. Trying to figure out how many drinks will put you over Utah's .08 BAC limit is not scientific at all, and there are too many different things to take in to account with each person for some online calculator or reference chart to accurately consider how many drinks you can safely have and not be considered legally intoxicated.
The legal process for DUI offense is complicated and difficult, and it is difficult for a reason. That's why, when it comes to the best possible defense by a DUI attorney, Salt Lake City turns to Liberty Law, PLLC.
For example, you can plead to a lesser charge for a first offense under certain circumstances, but there are other considerations that come with this kind of plea, and the staff at Liberty Law, PLLC will clue you in to the pros and cons every step of the way. If an agreement can not be reached out of court, then the lawyers will put their experience and skills to work for you at trial to try and obtain the best possible outcome. Contact their offices for a personal or telephone consultation if necessary.
Focus group fail...
Haven't really had a big number of advertisers since finally monetizing this website back in June, but thankfully, our opportunities have been coming in steadily, and we have awesome clients, nothing quite as dubious as a "Smell My Nuts" candle. Bet there were some uncomfortable looks around Christmas time when these were unwrapped. I mean, not exactly re-giftable, are they?
Get a team of experts behind you
I know what you are thinking. You have sat there in your living room, night after night, seeing commercials for personal injury lawyers during every other break in that episode of Cops you've already seen half a dozen times. They are all the same, anyway, right?
Absolutely not, and the situations you could need a personal injury lawyer are more varied than you might think. Sure, you know all about attorneys who handle car accidents or slip and fall injuries, but what if you have a loved one who has been injured as a result of nursing home negligence? What if you have a child suffering from bullying, and there is nothing being done by the parents of the bully? When it comes to these questions about a personal injury lawyer, Dallas needs to put this name at the top of their list for answers: Terry Hyatt.
The personal injury team at Terry Hyatt are ready to put their skills and experience to work for you. With support from medical experts, investigators and case managers, they bring a full battery of resources to try and attain the best possible result for you, in or out of court. Contact them now for your free case consultation.
My wife and I are currently in the middle of a remodel. Anyone out there feel me? Just kidding. It’s not that bad. But as the subcontractors are putting the finishing touches on everything they are looking to my wife and I to make the design and finishing decisions. Wait you mean we have to pick the color palettes?
Yes, apparently we do. Not only do we have to figure out what color each and every room will be painted, we have to make every decision right down to what screws and baseboards are used. Let me tell you, you really have no idea how many decisions you have to make when remodeling until you actually do it. Whew!
So my wife and I decided to cheat. That’s right we’re copycats. We went out to open houses in our area. We snooped around other people’s houses to see what they’ve done. And in the upscale neighborhoods we noticed a bit of a pattern. Many of the rooms that we absolutely fell in love with did not have paint on the walls but wall coverings. Now I don’t mean old school gross wallpaper. These were beautiful floor to ceiling wall coverings that looked awesome.
Now we knew what we wanted but as the saying goes, “When something’s too good to be true, it usually is”. As we searched through websites we expected the coverings to be a small fortune. Well we were very pleasantly surprised to find a mom and pop company right here in Miami called Atrium Wall Coverings. They rock, and the best part is, the coverings are actually surprisingly affordable.
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According to a recent BBC news report, the University of Liberia found themselves in a unique position when nearly 25,000 candidates failed the university's admission exam.
Those who failed the $25 examination were doomed by not having even a basic understanding of English. Well, at least they hadn't lost a sense of optimism. A university official said this was the first time anything like this had ever happened. Maybe so, but you gotta admire the $600 grand profit margin on an unprecedented event such as this. That's almost a better racket than Trump University, er...the Trump Gimme Your Money Institute.
According to the country's President, the country's education system is still in shambles following the end of a civil war ten years ago. Still a pretty good shambles when you have nearly 25,000 students trying to enroll at a university with 17,000 students already. Not to mention the fact there are fourteen colleges or universities within the nation.
Education Minister Etmonia David-Tarpeh will meet with the university to discuss the statistical miracle. Me, I'm waiting for the news there will be a Trump University - Zimbabwe campus. Wonder how much that admission exam will run (in American dollars)...
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(Best Overall Writing), 2011 Blogger's Choice Awards