Okay, I was braced for it. I would dearly love to say I was even a touch prepared for it. It's not like I didn't fucking see this coming. But somehow, I just knew the first Monday of 2014 was going to suck like a reality star's porno flick. It was going to stink on ice, and God knew it was going to be cold enough for it.

The first sign was waking up at 5:30 am for work. Seven degrees with a wind chill just slight of just plain damn it to hell. The idea that New Orleans was 17 degrees with a wind chill somehow made me wish I had a cornerman to throw in a towel for me. In black-and-white, real Scorsese-like. 

Somehow, despite missing the snow that had thrown the area into the usual panic, my car was frozen shut. Well played, mother nature. Well played. So now, hour and a half late only to find out that since I have not had a flu shot, I would have to wear a freaking surgical mask all day.There was a bit of consolation in that work did not go bad after I got there. So there was that.

To provide the final insult, as I was leaving work (now -2, -20s wind chill), my car froze open. Froze open like a butch chick at an Ani DeFranco show. That is to say, the door froze when I opened it, and wouldn't latch back shut. Real opportune fucking timing, I must add. Finally got home, packed a bowl, and kicked it around a bit. One Monday down, many more to go this year, and I live to fight another day. I mean, it's not like things aren't looking up. The high tomorrow is supposed to be twelve degrees.

This is the tale of two cities: Charlotte, North Carolina and San Francisco, California. A tale of two teams, and the motivational icon both teams are brushing up against for luck in the ongoing NFL Playoffs.

As ESPN reported on their blog on Friday, the NFC North Champion Charlotte Panthers have adopted legendary World Champion wrestler (and Charlotte's favorite son) Ric Flair's "wooooo!" as part of their in-game performance (after huddles, etc.) and have gone 12-2 since. Fitting. 

But wait, according to San Francisco 49'ers lineman Anthony Davis, Natch had flown into Green Bay, Wisconsin on Saturday, to the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, to give the 49'ers a pep talk before their Wild Card Round tilt with the Packers on Sunday afternoon. 

Of course, controversy #1 was Davis tweeting a photo of the pep talk, conducted at a team meeting, but referring to Green Bay as "this shit hole." To Davis, I would remind him that he is lucky enough to be able to play in the postseason at an historic venue. Not to mention, what happens if Davis winds up playing for Green Bay? Not that the fans there track history or remember shit. 

While this has lead to coverage from the usual haunts like ESPN and TMZ, the coverage I thought was perhaps the most amusing was NFL.com's take on the brewing drama. (pictured at right - click to go to NFL.com article) Kudos to their writers for actually researching or knowing a little bit about wrestling coming into the article.

So, to recap: Ric Flair's iconic "Woooo!" adopted by Charlotte Panthers, only for Flair to visit the 49'ers and give them a pep talk before their playoff game. What the hell happens if the Niners gotta play the Panthers later in the playoffs? Is he gonna visit both locker rooms, or ???

See, me, I know where this is going. Flair, often referred to as "The Dirtiest Player in the Game," is simply lulling San Francisco into complacency. If the game arrives, it will be neck and neck the entire way, but as the game winds down, Flair and the ref will bump heads, allowing the Panthers to get into range and win it on a field goal. Or at least, how awesome a finish would that be?

In this pic from Gerweck.net, Ricky Morton defeated Chase Owens to win the NWA World Jr. Heavyweight title at a NWA Smoky Mountain event in Kingsport, TN over the weekend. This match had been promoted by Smoky Mountain as possibly Morton's last chance to win an NWA singles World title, and his victory widely reported by wrestling sites as "the teacher besting the student." I'll admit, the old school fan in me thought it was kind of cool to see Morton pull it off, not only because he's 57 years old, but after his pursuit of Ric Flair's NWA World Heavyweight Championship back in the mid-80s.

Then again, having said that, and with all due respect, let me also say enough already. I get the point in giving Ricky Morton his props. The guy is a legend, no matter how you look at it, but the guy is 57 years old. The Rock N Roll Express has gone from top of the charts to the classic rock stations to the state fair circuit, but now the gimmick has gone from nostalgia to self-parody at this point. It's like the joke from The Blues Brothers about Jake and Elwood "still wearing the same shit you had on three years ago." Now, multiply that by ten, and you see why it may not be working anymore, no matter who it's still real to, damnit.

Okay, coming into the first weekend of 2014, I see one of the New Year's resolutions included just plain asinine weather to kick off the year. Monday, when me and my fiance return to work, we will be greeted by the following forecast: High 0 degrees, Low -2 degrees and Windy. That's the first Monday of the year. So far, I'm not impressed. Try harder, New Year.

Having started strong but finishing with a whimper for National Novel Writing Month back in November, coming in around 11,000 words before a crazy schedule took over, I have placed that project on one of the many backburners as I try to rein in my publishing efforts for the year. I intend to release a new eBook of the blog stuff (my first since 2006), tentatively entitled Knuckle Deep, long around late-February/early March, and with the creative juices flowing, I'm a good 7,500 words into what will be my first novel. This one is tentatively entitled The Ninth Cloud, and I am hoping to have it ready for press by June, and more details (possibly an excerpt) by the end of this month or February.

Of course, feeling a little weird now that I no longer have Probably Uncalled For to plan out for Wednesday nights. A nice sendoff for the show, with the finale currently at #6 on the Blog Talk Radio podcasting chart, the show's highest position in several months. Of course, as I have maintained all along, Free Rein Radio will return at some point in the upcoming year, network to be determined. I, on the other hand, will be returning to Blog Talk Radio with a Saturday afternoon show, probably as Spring approaches. I'll be looking to go back to a one-hour format, and most likely it will be a little more news & current affairs oriented. 

My Tweet of The Week: Yeah, since I'm starting with January 1, it was a thin race this week, but I decided this one best sums it up. Behave. That's all you really got to do this year, just behave. Don't worry about 99% of the bullshit resolutions you made. It's a 50/50 shot- 50% of you did this shit last second, and that kind of impulsive shit, unless it's a tattoo, is not going to last. 

New Year Rising, a digital art piece by Thomas Keister, January 2, 2014