Ok, let me see if I got this straight- some idiot wanders into an Arby's...one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, the guy has a pair of scalded balls.

Yes, what the hell, indeed...what the hell did the guy do? Spill some insanely hot fast food coffee in his lap, or pick up an injury by trying to make sweet forbidden love to a fresh ArbyQ? Nope, nothing that...er, sexy?

Nope, this guy, apparently suffering from the kind of luck normally saved for sexting congressmen, managed to burn his bits and pieces in the bathroom...at the urinal.

In the inevitable lawsuit that has followed, Kenneth Dejoie was "utilizing the urinal in the men's restroom when it caused a jet of steam to shoot forth from the urinal and burn his genitals." Man, I hate lawyer speak. Do you really have to spell out he was utilizing the urinal? We're all guys here, can't you just say the guy was trying to take a leak when due to unforeseen circumstances his hot dog was suddenly "made fresh to order?"

Dejoie claims to have reported the incident to an employee, who referenced "that bathroom problem" that apparently occurs when "the sink in the kitchen is running."

First, I understand it's a tough economy, and any job is better than no job at all, but let's be serious, here. If I'm working at a joint where there is even the slightest possibility of steam burning my cock and balls, one of two things are happening: I'm either pissing on the dumpster out back, or my self-preservation instinct (insofar as from the waist down) is going to kick in, and I'll just take my chances with the classifieds and a red pen.

Second, who the fuck did the plumbing for this joint, the Three Stooges?

The lawsuit is seeking damages for financial losses and for not being able to have sex with his wife. Interesting the precedent this would set, as I am sure this is not the first time that Arby's could be held responsible for someone not getting laid, but to put a price tag on that? How much of that (overpriced) good mood food would the Board of Directors have to gobble down to get over that court decision?