Where's the paper mache stairway to Heaven?

Bridgit Anderson / AFP - Getty Images

Okay, stories like this are hard to get a complete grasp on. Long story short- cathedral in New Zealand damaged beyond repair in major earthquake in 2011. Approval is given for demolition so a replacement can be built, but where will the congregation go until then? Their very own cardboard cathedral, that's where.

The $6 million structure was designed by Japanese architect Shigeru Ban, who has worked with designing building materials from recyclables since the mid-1980s for use in disaster shelters, and built with nearly 100 24-inch tubes coated with polyurethane for waterproofing. The building, which even includes a stained glass window featuring images from the original cathedral, is expected to last for more than a decade while a permanent replacement is constructed.

Yeah, and I mentioned the interim cathedral is made of freakin' cardboard, right? There are several different angles from which I could pursue this...

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Bridgit Anderson / AFP - Getty Images

A) This is a brilliant comedy sketch about hiring a contracting company made up of homeless.

B) The Volcano Insurance Salesman from Family Guy's "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein" episode was the broker on this deal.

C) This is the next logical step from all those douchenozzles with duct tape wallets.

D) The church building fund said $6 million, but there's some offshore accounts fattening nicely.

E) In an age where you could build a steel quanset hut to hold the same number of people for probably a tenth of the price, they went out and spent SIX MILLION DOLLARS ON A CARDBOARD BUILDING!

I mean, if this was some rich bag of snot, we'd all be lighting his ass up. If this was some insufferable man cave treehouse contraption, ya damn right people would be making all sorts of fun of this shit. Cardboard church? Nope, we get ain't that cool instead. I will give you it is cool, very innovative, but not six million dollars worth. Sorry, but cardboard is for boxes, covering broken car windows, and those cool cardboard boat regattas where the assholes slap on Viking hats and try not to drown for charity. In the final wind-up, I just can't help but feel this is the inverse of building your castle on sand.

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