I was kind of surprised to have three separate stories coming from our nation's school system this week, but then again, since I'm pretty much ignoring politics on the air until we actually start getting some politics instead of the hot mess that's been playing out on our TV screens the past few weeks, I guess I had to find some stupidity somewhere.
Even more troubling is the fact the three stories, from three different states, on three different matters, actually kind of tie together when you think about it. You have a school in New York scared three kinds of shitless that somebody is going to get hurt on the playground during recess, so they took the step of banning stuff like footballs, soccer balls, and whatever else they think could hurt someone.
Then you have a school in Florida sending one of those odious "fat kid" letters to a kid's home, despite the fact the kid plays on two different volleyball teams. Oh yeah, and the kid's freaking eleven. What a fantastic message to send to an eleven year old girl: no matter how many sports you play, you're still chubby to us, because of some vaguely scientific number.
To top it off, the governing body of high school sports in Kentucky recently asked schools to maybe put an end to the organized handshakes at the end of games. This is quite possibly the stupidest fucking thing I have heard all year. It is crap like this that makes me glad I was brought up before all this touchy-feely, everyone wins a damn trophy nonsense.
Add all these together, and what do you get? Contradictions galore, but no one willing to point the crap out. You can go to recess, but what are you supposed to do at recess, talk about whatever teen-centric disaster from the CW was on the night before? Fine, you can't do crap at recess, so you play a sport. Unless you're a all-state lineman for the football team, odds are you are going to be considered overweight, so even though you are in all likelihood one of the more active kids in your entire school, you're still a "fat kid." To top it off, you can't even say "good game" anymore?
Fine, you say, to hell with the "school" model of fitness, which is either winning championships or employing heavy use of bubble tape to keep our fat little children (real and otherwise) safe from harm, so you just decide to play at your house. Good luck with that, as the two kids in Virginia Beach can attest to, as they are facing expulsion for playing with airsoft pistols *GASP!* near a school bus stop. In one of the kids' front yard. As in not on school property.
And yet, there are people who still act surprised when kids just want to play video games, or go sneak some beers and/or a joint and fuck around. To those obviously slower than the average bears, I would ask- what the hell option did you leave them?
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