Usually, lying about a funeral is to get the day off...

Okay, so now that the spectacle of Whitney Houston's funeral has passed (it has passed, hasn't it?), it's time to resume the normal flow of things and...oh, hold up. The fucking idiots at Westboro Baptist Church. Almost forgot them.

Normally I disdain giving that gaggle of fucktards any time in my columns, even if it's to make fun of them for being a gaggle of fucktards, but this one is just prime dumb bastard material.

After announcing their intentions to picket, protest, or whatever they call their attention-seeking public circle jerks at the funeral of Whitney Houston this past Saturday, the group was noticeably absent. As in, they weren't there, ain't nobody saw them there, wonder how the weather is in Boondoggle, Florida or Bumblefuck, Kansas or wherever the wheels fell off the mobile home most recently.

Not to be deterred, Margie J. Phelps, daughter of the church's leader, tweeted an image purporting members to be waving signs as the procession passed, although it was then debunked, as the New Jersey Star-Ledger confirmed that no one, let alone the protestors, had access to the area in the picture.

“Time for Westboro picket of Whitney Houston funeral.So many piling up to blather about her today. Not ONE of them warned her of hell,” Ms. Phelps tweeted, apparently having been one of those not warned of Photoshop, or how easy it is to ferret out its use, especially when you place it on a tee for them while handing over a bat. Maybe you should confer with the North Koreans, then you too could come up with something slightly more convincing than a blown supermodel photo with a 9 inch waist.

Bottom line, since you can't even get the whole church thing right, leave the special effects to guys like James Cameron and George Lucas. They can at least make us believe in other worlds and fantastic scenarios. You schmucks couldn't even convince anyone you went to New Jersey.

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