They banned fucking lawn darts, and THIS SHIT is OK?!?

What a black day for the sport of anvil shooting. No, it wasn't a performance-enhancement scandal, nor was the sport's biggest star taken down after dogfighting, dropping his gat in a club, or texting his junk to some chick. At the Farmington Country Days celebration in Farmington, Missouri, an early explosion at the anvil shooting championship injured the shooter and four people from a production company, the shooter seriously enough to be airlifted. I mean, for crap's sake, the Farmington Chamber of Commerce issued a statement. A statement! Not since that streaker helped touch off the riot at the Knights of Columbus dance has there been this much pandemonium in that town.

I know what you're thinking. Hell, I can practically hear your brain screaming it across the astral plain: what the holy damn is anvil shooting? I mean, do you shoot at fucking anvils, or...?

Nope. Apparently cause the meth missed some folk in Missouri, they thought it'd be a hoot to light gunpowder under a hundred pound anvil and send it flying, with the hope it comes straight back down. I lived a spit and a whistle from Missouri my entire childhood, and never once heard about anvil shooting. I sure as hell have never seen this in any of the Missouri tourism commercials I see on occasion.

Not only did these idiots find the 1,002nd Way to Die, they turned it into a fucking championship competition! Upon further research, I even found a National and World Championship contest. Do they have a weigh-in for the anvils? Probably best not to ask...

As I mentioned in the title, they banned lawn darts for ONE kid getting killed, but this is wholesome adult fun and games right here? How can dynamite fishing be illegal if this is a sport at any level? Don't know about you, but I would sure as hell start watching pro fishing on TV if there was a dynamite fishing tournament. Hell, I'd get that shit on PPV. Or maybe the secret would be shooting the anvil where it lands in the water...

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