ThomasKeister.com
  • Home
  • About
    • Bio
    • Sports/eSports
  • Contact/Links

My 2011 Shorty Awards nominee interview...

1/6/2011

 
Picture
Shorty Awards: What's your best tweet?
Thomas Keister: Twilight's Robert Pattinson, in Details magazine interview: "I really hate vaginas." Dare I say the least surprising quote of the year race is over?...
SA: What are six things you could never do without?
TK: Family, friends, pot, free will, metal, and muff diving
SA: How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
TK: Check @thomaskeister and find out...
SA: Twitter or Facebook?
TK: Pussy.
SA: What feature should Twitter add?
TK: An accurate crystal ball, or a time machine.
SA: Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
TK: my hottest fan...
SA: What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
TK: Does it matter? They'll edit Mark Twain, they'll edit anybody...
SA: Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
TK: Bruce Campbell
SA: Why should we vote for you?
TK: A vote for me is like a vote for the hottest chick at the Wet T-Shirt contest. The one you know if you got drunk enough, you could score...
SA: Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
TK: #JustinBieberSnuffFilm
SA: Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
TK: #thomaskeister
SA: How do you make your tweets unique?
TK: With an intense regimen of training and pain...lots of pain. Ever see Solider? Great flick- it's kind of like the beginning of Soldier.
SA: What inspires you to tweet?
TK: Pot, booze, hot chicks on Bardstown Rd, cops driving 70MPH in downtown Louisville, the people who love me and the critics who hate me...
SA: Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
TK: Ever get called out for asking this stupid question a second year in a row?
SA: 140 characters of advice for a new user?
TK: Never forget. Twitter is cool and all, but stay grounded, and most importantly, you never go Ass to Twitter.
SA: How long can you go without a tweet?
TK: Somewhere between eight seconds and three days past forever...
SA: What question are we not asking here that we should?
TK: Why haven't you tweeted any nudes of yourself?
SA: How do you imagine Twitter changing? Slowly, with a come hither look in it's eyes...then the Fail TK: Whale cockblocks the whole process...
SA: Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
TK: Captain Hook. The guy has ruined more keyboards, yet still he plugs away...
SA: Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
TK: Me. I barely know who all I'm following, so I gotta go with the default setting on this one.
SA: What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
TK: That it spiral slices a nice ham.
SA: Why should people follow you?
TK: Because I'm tall, good-looking, great in bed, absolutely fucking brilliant, and above all else...humble.
SA: Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
TK: @KlingonExpat
SA: How do you decide what to tweet?
TK: If it fits, and it makes at least 51% sense...it's in...
SA: Why'd you start tweeting?
TK: It's cheaper than heroin.
SA: What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
TK: Pornography through American sign language via TwitPic
SA: How will the world change in the next year?
TK: Crop droughts will be a thing of the past with new House Speaker John Boehner's crying jags...
SA: What will the world be like 10 years from now?
TK: A decade older and one step away from Idiocracy.

Tweet

Comments are closed.

    DasUberBlog!

    Picture
    Winner, The Blogitzer
    (Best Overall Writing), 2011 Blogger's Choice Awards
    Disclosure Policy

    Archives

    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
    • Bio
    • Sports/eSports
  • Contact/Links