I know. You're dying to make that fuck awful "who has two thumbs and..." joke that makes people want to randomly hurl your ass into oncoming traffic, as if in the throes of an intriguing but ultimately disappointing M. Night Shyamalan plot. Fight the urge.
This is Michelle Watson, happiest DUI arrest ever. EVER. In a Thursday evening romp in Arizona, Watson, who tested nearly three times the legal limit, hit several curbs and drove briefly on the sidewalk, talked shit to one cop, shoved another while refusing a field sobriety test, scuffled with the cops, kneeing one in the junk, and kicked the shit out of the inside of a squad car.
And THIS is how the mugshot turned out. I gotta say, I'm impressed. While it's really easy to chalk this up to being completely fucked the fuck up, after seeing this mugshot, then reading the story, and then looking at the mugshot a second time, I immediately came to the conclusion that Ms. Watson must have the most awesomest freakin' lawyer in the universe. She must have Vig Insurance from Grand Theft Auto IV. She must have naked pictures of the judge...one of those Monopoly cards.
If not, I wanna know what she partied with...gimme a handler, and I'll try that shit.
Anyhow, I'm trying to keep tabs on this story...update (?) as soon as it becomes available.
Winner, The Blogitzer
(Best Overall Writing), 2011 Blogger's Choice Awards