Damn shame, The Chinese Human Kebob would at least been an awesome sidekick...

Wow, some Saturday nights are full of fun and the possibility of drunken nudity, others are wells filled with dead people and 75 cents.

After a man climbed to the bottom of a well to retrieve his money, he succumbed to a lack of oxygen and passed out. Once others in the village realized what had happened, six people climbed down to try and rescue the man, only to succumb to the lack of oxygen themselves. 

Naturally, the headline on this read 7 die after trying to retrieve 75 cents in well in Cambodia, which is not at all how the story reads. Maybe seven people died over 75 cents, but only the idiot that started the whole mess was going after his change, but I guess New York Daily News figured making up an alternate version of the headline might draw more reader comment...

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Meanwhile...when you see the headline "Woman gets nickname of 'China's human kebob' after successfully falling off a building and landing on a 20-foot piece of rebar," you kind of think why bother? I mean, the headline kind of sums up the entire story.

Then again, you're kind of hoping for pics, right? Sad to say, but I'm pretty damn sure there are only two ways to earn the nickname 'China's human kebob,' and neither one of them are really something you want photos of online. Opening the article in a new tab, I kind of had the feeling this was gonna be a Daily Mail article. 

Sure enough, it was. Pictures? Oh yes, and x-rays, too. I wouldn't check them out on your lunch break, unless you're just that kind of individual. but that's just me. Bet you she's probably wishing she'd earned the dubious honor of 'China's human kebob' the other way. Lot less recovery time, I would imagine. Maybe a donut pillow and a couple of ice packs...

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Now, with The Chinese Human Kebob on the shelf, there is continued disarray in superhero land. As reported last weekend on the Seattle Post-Intelligencer blog, local superhero-type guy Phoenix Jones (real name Ben Fodor, cause in the real world, secret identities cause way more hassles than the comic books lead on) has announced he is putting an end to an attempt to expand his Rain City Superhero Movement, after things did not go as well as planned.

The band of superheroes, which has not only gained begrudging tolerance from the Seattle Police, but the creation of faux supervillain Rex Velvet, to boot, ran into trouble when Jones 

Last year, Jones announced he was looking for people with a bulletproof vest, CPR skills and military police or martial arts experience they weren't using in any real constructive sense. However, Jones announced on his Facebook page (because superheroes in the real world have social media, not fortresses of solitude) that several members could not meet minimum fitness requirements or medical training, and others still lacked any kind of professionalism, he said.

The announcement naturally sent Rex Velvet into a state of triumphant swoon, as he gloated and put out the word he was now interested in dirt on the Rain City Superheroes. This shit really happened, people. Half the shit on TV sucks, but this shit is going down in real time! Don't worry, though...neither the booming superhero scene in Seattle nor it's newly passed $15 minimum wage on the horizon is enough to make me want to live in Seahawk country.