I could write that I'm surviving Christmas, hanging on by my wit's end, but I can't exaggerate that much. It's been a pretty good holiday so far. Got up, drank coffee from a Santa Claus coffee mug and opened presents with my mom, the fiance, and the future stepkids. Everybody liked what everybody got, Mom went to the Christmas service, Older Future Stepkid went to hang out with her boyfriend, Younger Future Stepkid is playing with enough Monster High merchandise to launch a stop-motion knock-off, and unfortunately the fiance had to make her way to work. Sigh.
Now, I'm just sitting here at my desk, enjoying the crap out of my Christmas present from my fiance. A HP Pavillion 20 all-in-one with a wireless printer. I loves me that woman. She very much enjoyed her present, and thanks to Dawn at Shane Company for her assistance on that. Since I gots me some time waiting for Star Trek Online to download, here's some Christmas at large...
So, a mall Santa in Foxboro, Mass made a little boy's Christmas by signing to him. The boy, 3, was shy about appraoching Santa until that happened. Okay, that's cool and all, but I know the real detail behind that story. The professional Santa saw that Rosetta Stone commercial, the one with Santa and the German kid, and thought to himself, Nah, I can do better. Well played Santa. Still gotta wonder about that, though. Professional Santa. Is this what is bound to become of all the professional Gandalfs when the market dries up?
Saw a story about a family's Christmas ham catching fire, necessitating a call to the fire department. Guess if you're gonna call them out on Christmas, might as well make it a tasty emergency. Hope they had extra gravy...
If I were going to get a new Hulk Hogan story for Christmas, at least it had nothing to do with sex tapes. The noted reality show guy on a toilet and Rent-A-Center pitchman will unveil his latest restaurant project Hogan's Beach in Tampa, Florida on New Year's Eve. The 20,000 square foot waterfront restaurant is what Hogan calls a "logical extension of the Hogan Brand," will feature volleyball courts, fire pits, cabanas, and tiki huts. Naturally, because when I think of a guy in his fifties, this is what I think of- a mid-life crisis in restaurant form, complete with a mechanical shark to ride. God knows YouTube desperately needs footage of drunk fat chicks flying off Hulk Hogan's mechanical shark. Or is that the plot of Hogan's next sex tape?
In a bonus stocking stuffer, entertainment writer James Poniewozik considers Here Comes Honey Boo Boo one of the worst TV shows of 2012. Nothing remarkable, just have to add Poniewozik to the ever-growing list of people I have to take more seriously than Barbara freakin' Walters and her "fascinating people" bullshit every year. The fact she finds the Kardashians and Honey Boo Boo fascinating is my first bit of evidence that she is, in fact going straight the fuck senile...
Winner, The Blogitzer
(Best Overall Writing), 2011 Blogger's Choice Awards