Chinese weddings and awkward masturbation aside...

So, a 113-year-old woman got married to her 70-year-old suitor this week in a simple ceremony at their Chinese nursing home? That's just a lovely story right there. Something tells me this is the kind of crap Nicholas Sparks will be writing when he's in his 90s, cause something tells me we're all gonna be just that lucky.

The marriage of  Azatihan Sawuti to her groom, Aimti Ahemti, came about after a whirlwind 6-month courtship at their Bachu County, Xinjiang retirement facility.  Of course, there had to be a joke or two in the comments about cougars and robbing the cradle. Typical "I commented first!" overachieving right there. I'm surprised nobody brought up some kind of booming market for that in Japan, the honeymoon video from this kind of nonsense. I'd probably be more surprised if that kind of shit didn't exist in Japan at this very moment. 


My doubts aside about the veracity of this story, a piece of fluffery for the weekend, I noticed at the end of the article those "around the web" links I need to get around to installing here one of these days. Something about breastfeeding, another collection of snarky eCards, could Jamie Lee Curtis be a hermaphrodite, Gisele Bundchen posing nude for...did that shit just ask if Jamie Lee Curtis could be a hermaphrodite?

Let me go out on a branch here and say no. Aw, hell no. Absolutely. The. Hell. No. I wonder how much of my demographics with confused boners right now, trying to process extreme old-ass cougar porn and Jamie Lee Curtis doing the dance scene in True Lies, but now they don't know what to fucking think. Then again, you should be asking why the hell you are getting a confused boner reading my blog. 

Some Hollywood rumors, like who knows what about the night Natalie Wood drowned, I can understand, others, like this kind of shit, I can't figure out. The link to the Jamie Lee Curtis story takes to you About.com, so take the rest of the story for what it's worth, especially since it's a nine-page slideshow you gotta click through to find out the same thing the smarter people already knew: there is absolutely no truth whatsoever to any rumor that Curtis is a hermaphrodite or suffers from AIS (Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, hit the Bing and look it up) has never been proven and is almost certainly false.

I mean, has far as rehashing old news, repackaging it, and really adding nothing new while you were at it, the slideshow disguised as an article succeeds at being clickbait. Clickbait that will undoubtedly draw clicks from the curious and kinda of dense. And before any of them starting searching WebMD, no the Activia did not cause any of whatever is supposedly going on with Jamie Lee Curtis. 

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