Amateur night's never been hotter...

This is Go Go Amy, a burlesque dancer in Scotland, during her usual set with the Pretty Things Peep Show.

Sadly, this picture also gives me the impression that the Scots aren't quite as strict with their truth-in-advertising laws. Pretty Things? Where? Are they hiding in the back waiting on the warmup act pictured at left?

During a recent performance at Abertay University in Dundee, things got complicated when Amy's flaming pasties tripped the fire alarms and forced the evacuation of what the Sun termed "hundreds of customers." I'm not saying I doubt the counting ability of the Sun's reporting staff, or show planner Ky Thomasson-Kay, but I am saying I flat do not believe there was a huge throng of people crowded into a university hall to watch a solid C+ set her tits ablaze.

Ratcheting up the hyperbole, Thomasson-Kay also went on record with this gem: ‘It was one of those priceless moments that people will be talking about for years.’

How goddamned boring is Dundee? This is what they'll be talking about for years? I call bullshit. I called bullshit, left it a message, and called back when it failed to get back to me. The only thing they will be talking about for years is the wondrous night in Scotland when God intervened and just told everyone to go for a couple pints and get pissed instead.

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