2012 Mayan Apocalypse Watch: St. Charles, Missouri

T-minus 318 days until the alleged Mayan Apocalypse... and we head to St. Charles, Missouri, where a possible sign is manifesting itself on Westhampton View Court.

According to coverage in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, in one of those quirky occurrences that can only be a harbinger of the impending doom on our horizon December 21, all five homes on the court are having issues with their garage doors.

The trouble began shortly after Christmas, and is blamed on frequency pollution, or interference among various wireless frequencies, but this even has the experts stumped, as they are not used to this phenomenon occurring in a multiple-home cluster. The residents of Westhampton View Court have filed complaints with the Federal Communications Commission, but as with most things government-as-usual, no word on how long the FCC is going to take to get back with them on that.

Of course there's no idea how long it's going to take- that's always how the disaster works in a B-movie: "Eh, there's no problem, nothing to see here, now move along...oh," the monster's alive/the meteor's coming/mother nature's on the rag big time...everybody run for your lives!

Could it be the garage doors? I mean, that can't really be what starts Skynet, can it? The future is turning into more bullshit by the minute...

Of course, we will not be so lucky. Given our current path, we will probably meet our maker when World War III is triggered by a cultural misunderstanding involving a Real Housewife, a stick of butter, and some unsolicited finger in anus. Me personally, I'd prefer the asteroid...or if I can't buy the farm like in an Irwin Allen disaster-film, maybe having a Biggest Loser first-round send-off crushing me on an escalator. Something with a little dignity.

---