Okay, so Jennifer Lawrence facepalms Emma Watson at some fashion thing the other day, which you done figured well the hell out, no small thanks to the picture.
Wonder how many nerdgasms that triggered from my friends, fans, and other associates?
At the risk of sounding like a cranky grandparent, allow me to congratulate them on a nice pic. They aren't trying to slip or flash anything, they aren't dressed in $15,000 of hooker clothing, and neither of them looked like they were smashed, folded, or otherwise distressed from a long day, so to speak.
For the rest of you, you may now begin playing the bom chicka wow wow music...
Shooting for the middle of August, around the area of the 19-21, for the release of Folded, my first blog collection in nearly seven years. Covering the first three and a half years of the DasUberBlog! era (including the Blogitzer-Award-winning 2011 publication year), Folded touches on the familiar areas of society, politics, entertainment and celebrity, and just plain fuckery all about.
Folded will also mark my first eBook release completely handled in-house. Free Rein Media will still manage publication of my business stuff and other works, but DasUberBlog! being a solely independent project warranted a little something different, I thought.
Folded will be an eBook exclusive, and more details will be forthcoming over the next couple of weeks, including pricing and availability.
So yeah, I finally managed to get off my dead ass and start publishing work again. This past Sunday (June 29) marked the release of Affiliate Marketing Academy, my first book of any format since The Devil's in the Details, the 2008 collection of work from the Free Rein Media blog I co-wrote with Darrell Mays.
While we've been working on getting some business-related eBooks out through Free Rein Media for quite a while, there were various other circumstances, in addition to my dead ass, that complicated the situation. As you can tell, that is apparently no longer the case.
The real world, as it relates to work, was a pure bitch this week around, kind of like one of those nadsmashing credit card molesters on a Real Housewives show. And it really shouldn't have been. Due to scheduling and other commitments, I was coming off a four-day weekend coming into the long Independence Day weekend. As one could imagine, a three-day work week sandwiched between seven days off is a welcome break from the grind, even if the pittance I call a paycheck is going to feel it in the morning.
That was not to be the case, however. Ran into a bit of difficulty with an unfortunate bit of power tripping from one person at my location, and a bit of impending fuckery on the horizon, as a result of another person apparently being bullet-proof, at least in relation to his job. It would be nice if my district manager would gain the hair required to make a move and fire this joker, but the results of the past three weeks says don't put money on it anytime soon.
So having had what felt like a full week of bullshit compacted into two and a half days, I was coming into the holiday weekend with nother expectations than to have a full glass and a full bowl until Monday morning, then try this shit again and see how it pans out. Taking a break from my next business eBook (details coming soon), I decided to check out the sales page for Affiliate Marketing Academy, see how things were going. The #38 (Business & Money > Marketing & Sales > Marketing > Research) and #64 (Business & Money > Entrepreneurship & Small Business > Marketing) were a pleasant surprise, and just the thing I needed.
Don't get me wrong. I know that #38 and #64, especially in genre rankings, are not smash hits, especially since I debuted in the #152,000 in the overall Kindle Store chart, but it does make Affiliate Marketing Academy my first official charting bestseller in any format, so I'm going to enjoy the ride, nonetheless.
As was mentioned on Free Rein Media's Blog! yesterday, I am in the process of readying several more projects for publication, including Knuckle Deep, the first collection from DasUberBlog!, three separate novels (working titles only), and more business content, including an eBook on Niche Marketing that I should have wrapped up and ready to go by the end of the holiday weekend. Been going through one or two day stretches as of late without getting anything down on paper, and I've been soldiering through the business material, so the fiction work has stalled, not to mention the blog work as of late, but it's feeling great to be getting shit done, kicking ass and taking names, and takin' care of business as of late. That alone makes up for a lot of shit along the way, three-day work week or not.
One of the major complaints, as of late, I have heard about mainstream media is the lack of coverage about international incidents like the Boko Haram kidnappings in Chibok, Borno State on April 14. According to most recent news reports, about 220 of the girls are still missing.
Can't really say I blame the complaints, which are kind of hard to hear over full press coverage of executive actions and how Third World broke Hilary Clinton's dumbass thought her family was when they vacated Pennsylvania Avenue. Now that LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony are tested free agent waters, those complaints are probably falling to whisper pitch.
The kidnappings have become a cause celeb, complete with hashtags, drawing in notables like Angelina Jolie (I’ll put the over/under on how many of the girls she winds up adopting at 2) and Michele Obama (cause really, what does she do other than tweet or tweet from vacay?), and now, you can add Adokiye Kyrian to the list of celebrities and prominent politicos that have jumped on their Twitter pages instead of perhaps trying something meaningful.
I know…who in the bluest of hells is Adokiye Kyrian? That’s a fair question. I guess if you live on the African continent, especially in and around Nigeria, you would know her as a singer. I can only imagine the clout being a hit singer in Nigeria is, comparable to being the sixth-best garbage collector in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Although, to be equally fair with my answer, Kyrian is a UN ambassador of Peace, just as Jolie is an ambassador for Goodwill.
I know we cannot and should not rely on definitive action in international incidents from A-list actresses and Z-list singers. For example, what is Angelina Jolie going to do about it, as an actress? Inflict another subpar movie on us? I don’t know about you, but I would really rather she didn’t. At least this Adokiye Kyrian chick has the common courtesy to take action in a manner that ensured people around the world, for probably the first and only time ever, heard her name in the peripheral.
In an interview with the Nigerian newspaper Vanguard, the 23-year-old Kyrian offered up her virginity to the insurgent group in exchange for the release of the remaining 220 schoolgirls. Granted, she had previously offered up her virtue to any man who would buy her mother a private jet, but I guess that offer has expired. Or maybe it is first come first served, so to speak.
Okay, let’s look at this a moment. If your previously unenjoyed vagina was not good enough to score your mom a private jet, just what exactly would lead you to believe it’s good enough for a hostage swap? How well do you think a group railing against the westernization of the middle eastern world is going to handle the concept of auctioning off your virginity? Not to mention, maybe it’s not even the vagina, maybe it’s the person involved. Maybe they just don’t like her music.
At any rate, I can’t wait to see what Adokiye is willing to offer up her schooch in exchange for next, after this humanitarian-based publicity stunt flops like a European soccer player.
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Winner, The Blogitzer
(Best Overall Writing), 2011 Blogger's Choice Awards