It was not as though I expected anything less from Mitch McConnell. As the GOP was settling into the seat of power following a decisive mid-term election victory last November, Senate Majority Leader McConnell promised "dramatic change" in contrast to the tenure of outgoing Majority Leader Harry Reid. Remember that phrase..."dramatic change."
McConnell said this dramatic change would come about by decentralizing power in a Senate that has accomplished so little in the past six years the American public is about ready to start holding a mirror under its face in the mornings, just to be sure. He also gave lip service to getting committee working again and open up the legislative process, a "return to regular order," in his words. Then again, he also made it a point to bring up recommitting to "a rational, functional appropriations process," because well, it's Mitch Damn McConnell. The pork's back on the plate, and Mitch brought his big ass fork, is the simple way to translate any rationality or functionality he may have been referring to when it comes to appropriations.
Continuing forth, McConnellesque in his determination, the Majority Leader said that the voters, who have lost faith in government and no longer trusts Washington, want a 21st century government, modern and streamlined instead of the perpetually deepening pit of suck we currently labor under. The GOP is going to pursue tax reform, opening global markets to American exports, and infrastructure projects like the Keystone XL pipeline.
Okay, for those of you keeping score at home, Sen. McConnell said:
1. Change, and dramatic change at that, is coming.
2. It's high time Congress got its shit together.
3. He's almost feral at the thought of getting appropriations back the way he likes it.
4. It's time to cut the sausage-making out of government and streamline it.
5. The GOP is going to fix taxes, American global trade, and infrastructure, right after...
They go back to the fucking well on abortion again.
Yes, America, I hear ya. God damn it, so much.
Yes sir, that some pretty dramatic change, if by pretty dramatic change you meant going back to page three in your fucking playbook! You could have come out with a plan, an idea, a hastily scribbled notion on a cocktail napkin on immigration, but you're just now sitting down to come up with a strategy. Really? Throughout the mid-term campaign, and in the afterglow of victory, this whole time the GOP was shadowboxing? The fact the Democrats were knocked out in part by a phantom punch should give them a moment for pause. A couple of moments, if necessary, in case Nancy Pelosi needs to change her facial expression.
I guess you could forgive the Republicans for a bit of a stumble out of the gates. Guess they still had some glitter in their eyes from the day before. Let's hope the next big topic they pounce on is something possible closer to relevance. Maybe even something that trends on occasion. Otherwise, this drama Mitch McConnell is producing is going to start needing a laugh track.
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