You Can't Help But Mix Metaphors With This President

​It is always such a striking moment in time, catching the look on the Emperor’s face when he finally figures out the big deal about his new wardrobe. With the Hindenburg-style crash and burn of President Trump’s healthcare plan on Friday, we got to see the Emperor, in the middle of town square, buck naked and realizing why it’s been so damn chilly the last few weeks.
 
The guy who ran on the premise of doing whatever the hell he wanted to looked like a teenager getting the car keys taken away when he discovered what everyone with even a spit and whistle of common damn sense had been saying from election night to the inauguration- this is not a do whatever the hell you want job.
 
Then again, why wouldn’t he have walked into the White House like a bull in a china shop? He ran on the premise of doing whatever the hell he wanted, because he did exactly whatever the hell he wanted to on the campaign trail, and there was outrage with no substance behind it. Whether that’s the fault of the mainstream media, fake news, real news, Russia, Wikileaks, the uneducated voters, the Republican Party, or even The Legion of Doom is debatable, but the bottom line remains the same. The china shop invited the bull in. Don’t look confused at the end of the day, when you are sweeping up the broken stuff and wondering what happened. You invited a bull into a china shop, and it’s too late to break out the bubble wrap.
 
But the bull found the floor a bit slick coming into Friday. With a bill that was already gasping and wheezing, it was just a matter of time before someone got it over with and stuck the fork in it. So then, there was Trump, suddenly out in the cold and exposed. His son-in-law was so keen on the process he grabbed the skis and bolted for Colorado, and Trump’s policy expertise was overhyped but knocked out early when he was wheeling and dealing the bill around Congress.
 
And now, coming into Monday, President Trump has three possible pages in his playbook he can turn to. The safe bet is he blames the Democrats for the bill’s failure, he can run a trick play and fool us by ceding some power to the anti-establishment wing that threw policy at him and made him look woefully unprepared while not getting a damn thing he wanted, or he can go full-on Hail Mary and try to build coalitions with the Democrats, you know, the people he’s already blamed for this fiasco turning into a cluster. You can guess which one he’s already run, and for no gain.
 
And for all the mixed metaphors and various clichés in this commentary, it seems to be a fitting summary of the Trump administration thus far- a naked Emperor trying a ride a bull and play football in a china shop. Too bad the reality will be back around to greet the President every morning when he wakes up. Or as close to reality as he is willing to allow himself to get.

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